#gratitude – The Boring Old Man

Yet Another “New” Start.

Last week I started a new job. Not that I didn’t enjoy my last one – I very much did – but I simply couldn’t live on what I was making. No shade directed at the former boss/company, I was paid well for what I was doing, it was just that what I was doing didn’t have the same value as my old job(s). The 16 months, give or take, of working a low pressure job was considerably more valuable than the paycheck, but the reality of the situation is that I had no other choice than to get back doing what I do and pull in some additional coin to keep the head above water. My savings is gone, my precious metals sold off, I’m trying desperately to sell off as much musical gear as possible and the wolves are at the door, so to speak. And so here we are…

I’m back in a Director position, running a very large, and very high end property. Thankfully though, I’m no longer in a “Healthcare adjacent” position with mountains of regulations and regulators, and no longer catering to the whims of obscenely wealthy senior citizens. A welcome change, to be sure. Not that this new gig is gonna be easy. I’ve got several months of heavy lifting ahead of me to get this place back in shape.

I’m still in no position to pick up and prioritize the blog here, just dropping this in to keep track of my life as time flies and memories get cloudy…

I am extremely grateful for the new opportunity this job provides, but the personal side of things is very much in shambles still. The struggle is real, as the kids say. The last 5 years had me ground down to a nub. Mentally I have not been “right” for some time, which caused a severe withdrawal from living life. I’ve tried covering it up, the old “fake it til you make it” routine. Throwing band-aids on the situation, like concerts and trips and playing in a band… all those things I thought would “fix” the situation. They did not. All I did was distract myself from the real issues, which were left to fester and infect every other aspect of my life. I buried my head in the sand and soothed myself with “this too, shall pass”, but it didn’t pass. I was doing nothing more than kicking the can down the road. I let things go from bad to worse, to even worse than that. I saw rock bottom fast approaching and just kept throwing band-aids on rather than pulling the ‘chute until I crashed head first into rock bottom.

Don’t get me wrong, I know things *could* be worse. I’m still on the right side of the dirt, I still have all my limbs and I’m not relying on machines or pills to keep me alive. I know there are a lot of people out there worse off than me that didn’t just land a great new job. I’m trying (struggling, honestly) to be grateful for what I do have, to keep my chin up, to climb out of the pit of despair I dug for myself, to keep putting one foot in front of the other ’til I get to where I need to be. It is exhausting and it is bringing every weakness I possess to the forefront.

This is what happens to a man with no direction in life. I chose the path of least resistance, tried to not make waves, to go along to get along and be satisfied with whatever life sent my way. This has proven to be absolute folly on my part. Turns out the path of least resistance is in no way the path of NO resistance, I just let life choose my path rather than forging the path I wanted for myself. I didn’t design my life, I took what was handed to me and tried to make the best of it. Well, that was a lousy plan and I’m currently paying a hefty price for it.

I find myself at an age where I should be secure, where I should feel good about my accomplishments in life, where I should be a pillar of strength for my family, my friends, my community. I’m none of those things at the moment.

In a way I feel like I’m starting over. Which at 57 is NOT where I wanted to be. In a lot of ways it’s worse than when you’re just starting out as there is so much baggage to be carried and sorted out along the way. So many bad habits to correct, so many things to make up for. And so little time left…

There was a quote I read some 3 decades ago, that became my mantra: “It’s never too late to become what you might have been.” I FIRMLY believed that. I had it hung up on my office wall for years. It kept me going through years of ups and downs, it was my shining beacon of hope. But the reality of it is, it IS too late to accomplish many of the things I wanted to do in life. It has been extremely difficult to accept that I “peaked” in my mid-20’s and I’ve just been (barely) treading water for the last 30 years. That when faced with struggle and hardship, I resigned myself to just accept what was and not try harder. Things will work out, I constantly told myself.

Once upon a time I knew – didn’t think, KNEW – that I’d be a renowned drummer one day. I wasn’t after fame, but I wanted to be respected for my abilities in that world. I wanted kids to hear my playing and be inspired in the same way I was hearing all those heavy hitters from my early days. I put in untold hours practicing, over decades, I studied the greats, I developed a style completely unto myself, I put everything I had into it. I was good. Really good. I wanted to discover unknown bands and produce their records, have my own recording studio, maybe even open my own nightclub to help bring new music to world. I once had a dear friend tell a new acquaintance “If you could invest in bands like they were a startup, this guy (me) would make you rich!” I have an “ear” for the next-big-thing… What I got was a failed record deal, a series of boring cover bands that provided ZERO artistic satisfaction, a handful of students I taught and a whole lot of heartbreak and bitterness. And while I still play, my skill level is maybe 60% of what it was when I was truly dedicated to the craft. Now instead of really good, I’m just OK. And considering drumming is the thing I’ve absolutely been best at in my life, what my entire identity was formed around, I’m not OK with that!

I wanted to build my own house from my own designs (which I spent countless hours drafting and refining). My very own homestead where I could raise food, be close to nature and live in peace. Instead I’ve been in a crappy 4-plex for the last 20 years as inflation has far outpaced income and kept me hanging on for dear life.

I wanted to build custom cars that had every detail perfectly aligned with my vision… I had numerous ideas for inventions -nothing earth shattering or life changing necessarily, but what I thought were great ideas that certainly had a marketable value… I’ve started two screenplays and two novels I never finished… This blog here is my 3rd attempt at making something that might speak to someone, and yet I’m floundering here too.

In short, I’ve not really accomplished anything of note.

I spent a lot of time, a large portion of my life, feeling like a victim. Feeling like I was surrounded by bad luck. Like I was misunderstood. Like I “deserved better”. Why? I couldn’t tell you. It wasn’t until a few years ago I finally got to a place where I could accept my own faults. Where I realized that, for the most part, my place in the world had more to do with my bad decisions and either lack of initiative or lack of determination, than with the world being “unfair”. That, my friends, is a BITTER pill to swallow. And I’ve been choking on that bitter pill for a couple years now. I spent a lot of years convincing myself I was special, but when it comes down to it, I’m not. Not really. I’m a dreamer. Maybe in some regards even a visionary, but I let fear of the unknown stop me from giving it my all. I chose “safety” over doing something extraordinary. In the big game of Life it turns out I’m just another cog in the machine. This is NOT how I saw myself and I’m trying to reconcile who I thought I was with who I actually am.

Maybe I had too many interests. Maybe if I had just set my sights on one single thing and pursued it relentlessly things would be different. Maybe I just wanted too much. I didn’t grow up impoverished but we didn’t have much, and it seemed I was surrounded by folks that had so much more. And I wanted some of that life! To have a nice house, cool cars, to take vacations, to provide all the things to my kids that I never had. And sure, lots of people end up with better than they deserve, but it’s my own fault for holding myself up as a victim when that didn’t happen for me. I had no business thinking something great was coming my way, considering where I’d come from. The old saying is you’ve got to play the cards you’re dealt, and unfortunately when life dealt a crappy hand I folded. No one to blame but myself for not drawing more cards until I had a winning hand.

So here I am, rapidly approaching “retirement age”(Ha!!!), not only broke but deeply in debt, savings is gone, no assets but a 25 year old truck and some musical gear that I can’t seem to sell, a crumbling marriage, a strained relationship with my only child due to the marriage problems, and a deep sense of dread that I’ve squandered this life and my gifts. How does one turn that around?

Literally the only bright spot is the new job, which is in a career that chose me rather than vice versa and I only took out of sheer desperation and necessity. Yeah, a 57 year old whore. Let’s just call it what it is.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this. All I’d planned to do was drop a paragraph or two about getting a new job… The rest of it just shot out, stream of consciousness style. Way more personal than I am comfortable with or care to admit, much less “put out there” but maybe the fact that I wrote it means something. I don’t know what, but something. Maybe the reason none of my writing has impacted anyone is because I’ve been so guarded and reluctant to show the “real” me, warts and all. Maybe I need to let go of all that – the pride, the ego, the fear of being found out, and just let my flippin’ guard down for once in my life.

There is a dude on YouTube that got lodged in my algorithm, who is a real smart ass and likes to rip on people a lot for their complaints (deservedly so, more often than not) but one thing he says often is “You’re not allowed to quit”. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve needed to hear that these last few months. Not that I’m considering pushing my own delete button or anything that severe, but sometimes just getting out of bed to face the day ahead has seemed like an insurmountable task.

I realize this is coming off as poor me, self pity crap, though honestly that is not my intent. I’m trying to make sense of my circumstances and find a new path forward. The obstacle I’m facing is the destination. How do I forge a path if I don’t know where I’m going? Clearly, my lifelong goal of being a musician is out of the question, yet I don’t want to stop playing music. My job is too demanding and my personal life in too much upheaval to pursue a “serious” band or project in my spare time and my ego (as deflated as it currently is) won’t allow me to get into schlocky, amateur hour stuff. Good music, like any art, takes time and dedication in addition to skill and talent. And besides, the music business is going (has gone?!?) down the tubes, so even the idea of discovering or producing new bands appears to be a fruitless endeavor. There is simply no money in music anymore. I can pour myself into this new job, bust my hump and be the best I can possibly be, but in the end, it’s just a job. I have no love for the work, I just happen to be pretty good at it. Even if I were to become the greatest facilities director they’ve ever seen, if I got hit by a bus I’d be replaced within a couple weeks and life would go on as if I’d never been there. At this stage of my life, between my age and my financial situation I’ll never own a home, much less build one like I always dreamed of. And at the rate of marital decline, I may end up “living in a van down by the river” rather than even being under the thumb of a landlord.

I’m just gonna say it, my future looks bleak. If I ever needed a miracle or cosmic intervention, it’s now. Right. Now. I’ve seen the error of my ways, I accept responsibility for my many failings, and I’m willing to put in the work, but I NEED a direction. A purpose. I want a life worth living and I hope to leave something worthwhile behind.

I’ve taken a long fall and I have a long way to climb. As the old song goes, “I’ve got a long way to go, and a short time to get there”. It’s not easy reversing a life of bad habits and worse decisions. Reinventing oneself in the twilight years. All I know for certain, is I’m not allowed to quit.

Thanks for stopping by.

First Time in a Looooong Time!

At this moment I’ve got the truck loaded up and I’m on my way to my first drumming gig in a very, very long time.

I feel like I should be nervous, but for some reason I’m not. This band got together in the last week of April and we’ve had 8 or 9 rehearsals so we’re not exactly a well oiled machine, but I think we can at least pull it off without any full-on train wrecks on stage. It’s our first time out, so who knows what will happen?!? I haven’t set foot in this club in a decade (the Quarternote in Sunnyvale, CA) and I NEVER played there before… Fingers crossed!

We’re the 2nd band of the night, playing from 10pm til Midnight and honestly my biggest concern is staying awake… I was up at 5.30am and working in 90 degree heat outside all day has got me more than a little bit whooped!

Say a prayer folks!

Thanks for stopping by 😉

Spring!

Hi again, it’s been a while…

Not gonna lie, been in a rut. Got too many things to do and not enough time to get ’em done. And yet, nothing that I felt was worth writing about.

Not that it’s been all bad, just not noteworthy.

I’ve only been to one show since my last post – Magic City Hippies at the Fillmore in SF. However, considering I’ve done something like 5 or 6 concert reviews about them on this blog and this was maybe the 10th(?) time we’ve seen them, I don’t really have much else to say. They are STILL gre,at, one of the best live acts out there. Seriously. If you like live music and you get the opportunity, go see them. You won’t regret it.

I also was surprisingly reunited with a dear old friend – one of my groomsmen as a matter of fact – that “fell off the radar” some 30 years ago and I haven’t seen or heard from since! We had a nice talk on the phone and he was coming to town from out of state, so we met up for lunch a few days later and it was fantastic. It really gave me a sense of joy that my feeble vocabulary can’t articulate. I’ve really come to appreciate old friends as I’ve grown old but it’s rare that I see mine, as we’re now scattered clear across the country. In different directions. I’m the only dumb sap that still lives in the area where we all grew up. Unfortunately it no longer even closely resembles the place of our youth and there isn’t much to draw them back here for a visit.

Such is life.

Still have a pile of parts to replace on my truck, but between the full to-do list and the absolutely crap weather we’ve been having these last couple months, I’ve not been terribly excited about doing the work.

But now SPRING is officially here, and today I felt pretty invigorated. Had a productive day at work, then came home and put in a couple hours of chorin’ , now throwing this little note out there just to pet you all know I’m still alive and kicking!

Hopefully the change in seasons will bring a change in output here on the old Blogstead.

Happy Spring. See you soonish.

Go call an old friend.

Thanks for stopping by.

Wrench Time

My constant readers may remember I took possession of a “new” truck back in June and it has been my daily driver ever since.

It has been relatively problem free, aside from a blown out radiator hose, and I’ve now put a little over 9,000 miles(!!!)on it for it’s initial shakedown. Aside from a new upper radiator hose, all I’ve done is an oil change and new spark plugs thus far. Though it is due for another oil change…

My first impression was that front end and steering would be the first task to undertake, then about 10 days ago I started hearing some brake screeching (not a metal on metal sound, but as though a caliper wasn’t opening up and dragging).

So, change of plans… This weekend I drove over to my Brother-in-Law’s place and took care of ‘Phase One’…

The truck is now sporting new wheel hub/bearing assemblies (Mevotech) on both sides with new, un-rounded bolts, new brake calipers, pads and rotors (Powerstop) and new braided stainless DOT brake lines (Russell). While I was in there I also put in a new set of front shocks (Bilstein).

It was a lot of work – a good 8 hours, start to finish. Should have been less, but dealing with some rounded off bolts, a couple broken sockets (Snap-On brand, no less!!), forgetting to look up torque specs before I got started and other assorted flys in the ointment really added to the slog. But, all’s well that ends well.

It’s reassuring to have new bearings and brakes up front, but there is still much to do.

I’ve got all the parts to completely rebuild the rear brakes inside and out and a new power brake booster to install, just ran outta time and daylight this round. And unfortunately when I was replacing the components on the driver’s side I found the CV joint had a cracked boot and was spewing grease, which means undoing some of the work I just completed to install a new axle half shaft, which I do not have just yet…

Hopefully between now and the next round of the big work I can get the new distributor cap, rotor and camshaft position sensor installed and the new Serpentine belt assembly that I’ve been sitting on for a few weeks now.

Despite all those parts sitting around waiting for me, the old girl is running well and stopping better, for which I am grateful! And no more ungodly sounds emanating from the front wheels!

I’m no mechanic, by any stretch of the imagination, and this job really pushed me to the limits of aggravation, but I gotta say it was a big boost to the ol’ self-esteem tank to conquer it. And lastly I must give a big, no actually MASSIVE thank you to my BIL, Kaptain Karel for letting me take over his driveway for the day and loaning me some tools so I didn’t have to schlep my entire mini-storage unit over there!! Not to mention helping me to figure out solutions when things went sideways! If you’ve ever considered wrenching on your own automobiles, I say go for it! I’ve been doing it for decades and always learn new things. Not to mention the money saved over the years by avoiding the mechanics shops! And what better excuse to buy new tools?! Even with all the dough I’ve dropped on tools over the years, I’m confident that I’m still thousands of dollars ahead.

More to come – stay tuned (pun intended)!

Thanks for stopping by!

A little catching up…

My apologies to any readers that have been wondering where I’ve gone… I know it’s been quite some time since I posted here, but quite frankly I’ve been having ‘one of those days’ for a couple/few months now. I really try to not let this blog be a place for bitterness or despair, so I’ve had my head down just trying to ride the storm out.

I’ve got to say, 2024 will go down in my personal history as the worst year on record, and I’ll be glad to see it in the rear view mirror in a couple months.

And while the last few months have been pretty disastrous for me, it hasn’t been ALL bad…

Back in early September I had a reunion of sorts with some old friends, brothers from other mothers so to speak, that was LONG overdue. While I’ve been in touch with them both fairly regularly, the 3 of us hadn’t been in the same room together for over 30 YEARS! Yeah, seriously overdue! So that was certainly a bright spot for me.

And we saw a few great shows along the way – Dogstar at the Catalyst in Santa Cruz, Nikka Costa in Berkeley, Abhi the Nomad in San Francisco and Still Woozy at the Greek Theater in Berkeley as well. All were great shows and there were some awesome opening acts as well – PawPaw Rod for one, was exemplary!

The Mrs. and I also had our 33rd wedding anniversary in October.

We had a couple nice outings with the family as well… A few day trips to Henry Cowells to bask amongst the Redwoods, we did the annual ‘Wine Walk’ in our little town which was nice. And just last week a 3 day camping trip down in Big Sur (more Redwoods!!) These are things that I hold dear. The things that kept me from losing my mind altogether. Much needed and welcome distractions from ‘the real world’.

And today is VOATING day. Yippee… Ordinarily I consider myself a very patriotic American and take my civic responsibility very seriously, but I’m struggling this year. BIG TIME. I’m sick of it all. Sick of the two wings of the same, diseased bird. Sick of the lies. Sick of the hyperbole and the projection. Sick of getting the short end of the stick, regardless of which way the wind blows.

Alrighty then, that is enough doom and gloom. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully a better one.

Thanks to all who have supported me here, I do appreciate it. It’ll probably be a little quiet in the near future, but eventually I’ll dig myself outta this hole and get back to it on the regular.

Thanks for stopping by.

A Life Well Heard…

I’ve been in a deeply introspective zone lately, searching for “something” lost within me over the last decade or so, and amongst other things that has had me reminiscing about better days gone by, and that lead me to old music, since when I was what I consider the “real” me, my life essentially revolved around music. If I wasn’t at band practice or playing a gig, I was out at shows watching other bands. If I wasn’t playing music or watching others play, I was out dancing. If not there, I was listening to the radio or my vast record collection. The first thing I did in the morning was turn on the radio (they used to play music in the mornings, can you imagine?!?). When I went to bed I always put a record on to fall asleep to. I was OBSESSED.

Any of you that have read my blog for any time will note that music still has a big place in my life even if severely reduced from what it used to be.

Anyhow, during this introspection I found myself looking back at my early days and the things I took for granted or simply didn’t appreciate at the time. Which kinda sprang forth in a comments section over at Dave’s place https://soundday.wordpress.com/2024/05/27/may-27-goths-leading-lady

I started flowing from within all the great opportunities I had to experience music as a Bay Area native and the more I wrote the more I realized I have seen so many great bands in my lifetime and I never thought to keep track of all the shows over the years. My home town seemed so dull back in the 80’s and we yearned for the action of places like San Francisco and Los Angeles… But had I grown up in say rural Iowa or the Louisiana swamps, my exposure would have been so much more limited and I likely would be a completely different and unrecognizable person. Of course, the dull South Bay 10 years later turned into Silicon Valley, which did bring “excitement” to town, just not anything I was excited about!

https://wp.me/p9xjdq-666%23comment-74588
Here is the comment that inspired this post…

Anyhow, I figured I should try to reach way, way back and put up a list of all the bands I’ve had the good luck to see. There is no possible way to put this in order, far too many years under the bridge, and I’m sure no matter how long this list gets, I’m going to forget someone. Likely multiple someones. But as I’m getting “long in the tooth” and my memory isn’t getting any better, I’ll put it down for posterity and if anything it will give me something fun to look back on as I continue down the golden path of age.

How I envision myself in my Golden Years!

A lot of these bands will be a little obscure since that’s where most of my love lies within musical realms, and a lot of them you will have NEVER heard of, since they were local bands that never made a big splash outside our local scene. Nonetheless, it’s all part of my heart and soul, ingrained in my DNA.

An old, dear friend recently said to me in a text “You just touched on what I think is one of the best things about music–at its best, it’s like a Time Machine that immediately transports you to a time and place. We had some great times driving around, shooting the shit, and listening to what I think has to be the golden age of college radio.” Amen!

So without further blathering, here is a somewhat complete, but random-ordered list of that bands I’ve been lucky enough to see with my own eyes, to hear live and in-person. A lot of the people that helped make me who I am. I’ll keep the commentary to a minimum, lest this become a novel…

The earliest concert I remember, I must have been 10-12 years old, was Paul Revere & the Raiders at Great America, an amusement park in Santa Clara. It was a July 4th celebration and as a kid, it was the greatest thing I had ever seen. Little did I know what the next 45 years would bring!

Around that era I also saw Papa Do Run Run, a local surf band, ala the Beach Boys, performing at a car show. I LOVED surf music as a kid (and all the Beach Blanket movies!) and I was officially hooked on live music!

In 6th grade I saw my first real Rock & Roll cover band play. (back then 6th graders weren’t allowed to attend dances, so the band played a concert the night before the dance for us youngsters.) To this day I can remember them playing “Hold the Line” by Toto, which was one of my favorite songs at the time, and I was absolutely blown away by the sheer power of the sound. I had already been playing the drums for a few years by this time, and after that night I didn’t want to do anything else! One of those literal life-changing events.

The next one I remember was a fairgrounds show with the Steve Miller band and Quarterflash (remember them?!?) I believe that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade.

After the initial toe-dipping of those early shows, things really took off and after that it’s all a blur…

During my high school years (’82-’86), I saw Adam Ant, the Police, Oingo Boingo, the Fixx, Thompson Twins, Madness, Red Rockers, U2, the Tubes, Pablo Cruise, Bonnie Hayes & the Wild Combo, INXS, Wire Train, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Belouis Some, and the Church. Probably a few others, it’s all a bit fuzzy…

In my Senior year, I was in a truly serious band and we played our first nightclub gig 5 days before my 18th birthday and that club – the Laundryworks in San Jose – became my home away from home. I was down there 2 or 3 nights a week seeing every local band I could, and there were some GREAT bands in San Jose back then… A usual night would have 3 bands – a 30 minute set from the opener, a 45 minute middle set and then a headliner that played until last call. It was glorious, and felt like a place just for us and all our fellow misfits.

Some of the bands I can still recall from back then, that stand out after all these years, were Grey Matter, Swing Party, Daddy in His Deep Sleep, Juliet Slip, Never Say Never, London Down, the Kingpins (the most entertaining Rockabilly band I’ve EVER witnessed!) and the absolute cream of the crop Epic Rumors. EVERYONE in the scene thought Epic Rumors were going to be “the next big thing” but alas, it never came to pass. It should have, they were fantastic! Along with all those great local bands, they had a number of “national” touring bands come through, such as Game Theory, Dinosaur Jr., Robert Seidler (of “Christian Boy” fame), Camper Van Beethoven, Firehose… I’m sure there are others, but those are the ones that stick out. The Laundryworks is also where I first met Brian “Brain” Mantilla, drummer extraordinaire. He was playing with a great band called Big City, and would later go on to help form Funk/Punk pioneers Limbomaniacs (who I saw COUNTLESS times!), he played with Ted Zeppelin, a Ted Nugent/Led Zeppelin “tribute” band (only nobody was calling them tribute bands back then) and later for both Primus and Guns & Roses with Buckethead. One of the most nerve racking shows I ever played was when we opened for Ted Zeppelin and I knew Brain was in the audience…He was sooo good, even back then, that all my self-confidence and baravdo went right out the door!

Around that general time I saw Wire Train a few more times and got to meet and hang out with the band backstage at a few gigs. Great guys, AWESOME band. A Top 10 list band for me, no question! A new club had opened up in Santa Clara called One Step Beyond and that place was like a dream come true. I played a bunch of gigs there, went dancing there a couple hundred times and saw so many great concerts there! Where to start… Wire Train, of course, CONCRETE BLONDE – 3 times(another Top 10 band for me and AMAZING live!) the Ramones, the Replacements, Screaming Trees, Flesh for Lulu, Aztec Camera, Erasure, Unforgiven, Cheap Trick, Nina Hagen, Book of Love, Fishbone, the afore-mentioned Limbomaniacs, House of Schock (drummer Gina Schock’s post- GoGo’s band), Mission U.K., Sisters of Mercy, the Bolshoi, Ministry… That club also holds the distinct honor (?) of having hosted the only two concerts I ever walked out of because the bands were So. Completely. Awful. First was Doctor and the Medics, just embarrassingly bad. The next one was Gene Loves Jezebel. I liked their records a lot, but live they were excruciating! So bad it hurt my ears AND my feelings!

In other places in generally that same era I got to see Squeeze with the Hooters and the Truth opening – awesome show at the Berkeley Greek Theater, a spectacular outdoor venue. I saw the Church again, Peter Murphy, Echo & the Bunnymen, Siouxsie and the Banshees, the Cult (Guns & Roses were the opener, but we got there late and only caught the last song! We had NO idea who they were at the time, nobody outside of LA did). R.E.M. with the Three O’clock opening, I saw U2 again, I saw Adam Ant again, the Pretenders twice, the Bodeans, Let’s Active, Kid Creole and the Coconuts(AWESOME!), Lone Justice, Primus a dozen times in assorted club venues, before the Seas of Cheese album dropped… Psychefunkipus (probably spelling that wrong), Wire Train again…

Then I went through a short phase of jazz shows – Fatburger stands out as the best of them. I was 5 feet from the stage in a place that held maybe 200 people, it was astounding. I saw the Yellowjackets, Michael Franks, Dave Weckyl, Steve Smith, Vinnie Colliuta… a few others I can’t name. What can I say, I tried. I fully admit that I admire the musicianship of top notch jazz players, but I just could never get too into the music. I like it OK, I’m just not well versed in it and just kinda prefer my jazz in the background.

Oh, I completely forgot about my “jam band” phase – I saw the Grateful Dead at least 6 times, maybe 7, we saw Dave Matthew’s Band I think 3 times. And to top it off, one show with Phish. Of all of ’em, DMB was the most fun and musically impressive of all of them in my opinion. His later music puts me to sleep though, haven’t been to one of his shows in close to 20 years.

Then there are the “classic rock” shows, oh my goodness… The Rolling Stones (at the time the most expensive tickets I’d ever purchased BY FAR, and one of the worst stadium shows I’ve ever seen. Never. Again. The Who twice. OUTSTANDING!!! Rush three times and every time was unbelievably great. Steve Winwood, Steve Miller again, the Doobie Brothers (twice), Peter Gabriel, Bon Jovi (technically, I was working on their tour with the opening band, I never actually bought tickets and went to a Bon Jovi show, but I saw a lot of them and they were a LOT better than I thought they’d be – VERY professional, I’m just not a fan of their songs. Except “Runaway”, that’s a killer), and also Pat Travers. That show holds the distincion of being the LOUDEST show I’ve ever attended. My ears were ringing for 2 days afterwards, no kidding. But he was great… And for a while in the late 80’s my band was a top pick opener for “oldies” bands coming through town and we opened for the Guess Who, Elvin Bishop, Tommy Tutone, the Tubes, the Bay City Rollers, amongst others so I saw at least bits and pieces of those band’s sets.

In the more recent past, we’ve seen Sting (amazing band, amazing talent!) with Squeeze opening, Better Than Ezra, Lenny Kravitz, 311 – three times now (the first time was on their “Grassroots” tour at a club in Palo Alto, mid 90’s… KORN was the opening band and they were horrible. If I weren’t so hyped to see 311 for the first time, KORN would’ve been the 3rd band I walked out on in my life. Ironically, a few years later I heard them on the radio and really liked them. I would have NEVER guessed they would have amounted to anything, much less world wide stardom!)

Most recently, and a lot of these are already written about in this here blog, in no particular order we have Jack White (MESMERIZING!!), Foreigner, Loverboy, HooDoo Gurus, Des Rocs, Grandson, Magic City Hippies (about seven times), Dogstar (about 5 times in the last year, and over a dozen times their first time around in the 90’s), Lettuce, Steve Vai, Steely Dan, Steve Winwood (a LEGENDARY performance!),Red Hot Chili Peppers, Beck, Weezer, Cage the Elephant (OUTSTANDING!!), Night Ranger, the Offspring, Polyphia, X, Bow Wow Wow, Royal Blood, Missing Persons (twice now, but I try to forget the second time!), Ashe, K.Flay, Lyrics Born, the Dip, Qveen Herby, Young the Giant (GREAT SHOW!), Chic with Nile Rogers, Duran Duran, Parliament Funkadelic… I know I’m forgetting a few just from the last couple years. Just check my previous posts!

A co-worker recently asked if there was anyone I hadn’t seen that I still want to, and I honestly couldn’t think of anything. Though there are certainly a few that I wish I’d seen before it was too late. The CLASH is my all-time favorite band and I never got to see them. I would have loved to see a Diamond Dave- era Van Halen show. Stevie Ray Vaughn. Jeff Beck. King Crimson’s 80’s lineup with Adrian Belew, Robert Fripp, Tony Levin and one of my favorite drummers of all time, Bill Bruford. I wish I’d seen the B-52s in their early 80’s prime… I’d love to see Sade, but I don’t believe she’s done a tour in close to 20 years, so I’m not holding my breath on that one. But honestly, if I could never see another concert, I believe I’ve been truly blessed to see as many as I have. Live music has been one of my greatest joys for over 4 decades and I think I’ve done a pretty good job of absorbing as much as I could!

Reading through all this, if I had to make a Top 5 list of shows I think it would be the following:

#1 Missing Persons reunion show in Los Angeles- late 90’s (?). Unbelievable. And I got to meet the band before the show. Terry Bozzio is my biggest inspiration as a drummer BY FAR, so that one holds the number #1 slot from here to eternity.

#2 Concrete Blonde, first tour ’86(?). Powerful, heartfelt, dangerous, all wrapped up into an amazing set.

#3 311 at the Keystone Palo Alto, Grassroots tour ’93ish. Unbelievable energy AND technical prowess.

#4 Jack White at Shoreline Amphitheater, 2022, +/- I STILL cannot describe what I witnessed that night. The closest thing to a religious experience I’ve had as an adult.

#5… I dunno, now it’s getting hard! Cage the Elephant was amazing, the first times we saw Des Rocs and Grandson were both mind-blowing.. Every Magic City Hippies show has been off the hook… Nikka Costa, whom I forgot to mention above – seen her twice and both times were awesome! Too many to choose from! Suffice it to say I’ve seen a LOT of spectacular shows!

When I talk to folks about shows I’ve been to, I know to most it sounds unbelievable, or exaggerated at the very least, but I swear if anything I’m leaving a bunch out! By contrast, I’ve been to exactly ONE NFL game in my entire life (and it was a work outing, not something I chose to do) and I went to ONE MLB game when I was about 10 years old. I went to a few San Jose Sharks hockey games, cuz free tickets. The ONLY sport I like and have invested any time in watching is soccer, and I only do that in person, I haven’t watched sports on TV, including the Super Bowl, since Michael Jordan was playing for the Chicago Bulls. And honestly, I don’t even remember exactly when that was…early 90’s? Late 80’s? I haven’t stepped foot in a movie theater in 5 years, and before that MAYBE once a year. Maybe. My point being, everybody’s got their something. Some people love sports. Some people love movies. I’m ALL about music, especially LIVE music!

Thanks for stopping by and taking a trip down memory lane with me!

Field Tripping: Portola Redwoods State Park.

Yesterday was a new kind of adventure for me, the Mrs. and I went on a “field trip” with our daughter and her 5th grade class to Portola Redwoods State Park in La Honda, CA.

The school the wife and daughter teach at is big on what they call “Outdoor Ed.” and they do lots of camping trips and such for all the classes but all that got derailed during the Plague Years (our daughter’s first year of teaching was the year /they/ shut everything down), so this was her first overnight camping trip with a classroom of kids.

We (the Mrs. and I) didn’t go for the overnight – both of us are working today – but more as logistics support. The Mrs. volunteered us to cook dinner for the troops, so we headed up the mountain with a ton of food, firewood and all the accouterments to throw down a nice dinner. And of course S’mores! What camping trip with kids would be complete without those?!?

As you might imagine, this wasn’t exactly a quiet, peaceful trip to the woods – not with roughly 20 5th grade kids running amok, some for the first time in the woods.

You can hear the wild 5th grade varmints in the background, swimming in the creek and having a blast!

Nonetheless, the park is beautiful, and the drive in was spectacular. The kids were happy and our kid managed to make the trip a success for her kids, so mission accomplished!

Some babies sprouting up…Our great-grandchildren’s great-grandchildren will still be watching these beasts grow!

I’ve spent more time in the woods in 2024 than in the past decade and it is doing me a WORLD of good. I highly recommend it, ESPECIALLY if, like me, you spend most of your time glued to a desk and/or computer screen!

Thankfully my new job gets me a ton of outside time now, and that’s been great. But making a conscious effort to embrace the outdoor world as well as making it part of our fitness routine, has been life changing.

Spring is in the air, summer is right around the corner, get out there and hug a tree! Watch some birds. Laugh at squirrels gettin’ squirrely! Your body and soul will thank you!!

Thanks for stopping by!

The creek is still running, a rarity for late Spring in California!!

What a Week!!

Started the new job on Monday and the week has just flown by!

I’ve been loving it so far and I expect that this is gonna be a good gig for me, at least for the foreseeable future. Yes, I did take a pay cut for this job but the lack of stress more than makes up for it. If nothing else it will force me back into my frugal ways, which is long overdue. Having more than enough pocket money changes a guy, and not necessarily for the better! Probably a few less shows and long weekend trips in the coming year, but that is a price I’m willing to pay to stay out of the meat grinder!! Can you put a price on mental health?!?

In an odd turn of events, I’m back working at a site where I spent 5 years as the facilities Director, and it was the worst job I’ve ever had. Well, maybe second worst as I spent a couple years as a roofer some 25+ years ago, but I digress…

This place was TERRIBLE to be an employee of, but working for a contractor here is all good. No stress, no BS, no dealing with the health care regulations and all that entails, it is a night and day difference. And the cherry on top, the reason I stuck it out here for 5 years, is this place is GORGEOUS! 44 acres of beautiful scenery, wildlife EVERYWHERE. It is truly a spectacular place to spend your day and I feel beyond fortunate to have a landed a gig that puts me back here!

Looking ahead at the schedule, it looks like I’ll be here through July at least, but according to the boss, they keep throwing new projects at him every time one finishes up, so I could be here for a long haul. Let’s hope!!

Aside from the distinct lack of stress, I’m getting a good “workout” at work, which is a nice fringe benefit. The first day I clocked over 7 miles of walking, and the “easiest” physical day put me at just over 4 miles walked. Not too shabby! Five to six miles appears to be the average. Plus some lifting here and there, pushing some material carts around and such, it’s been good for the body, no doubt! And I’ve been sleeping like a baby. Better sleep than I’ve had in well over a decade! I haven’t woken up at 3am in a panic all week, which is a welcome change of pace, as it was happening at least 3 times a week at the old job…

Life can be strange sometimes. Two weeks ago I was overwhelmed by a sense of certain doom, and now here I am happier than I’ve been in I don’t know how long.

I guess it’s true, sometimes a change will do ya good! Even when that change is thrust upon you…

Thanks for stopping by!

A New Day Dawns…

Hi folks, it’s been awhile…

So, I found myself out of a job this week… Unexpected, and yet I’ve felt under the microscope for the last several months. Regardless of how much I did, regardless of the extra hours put in, nothing was ever good enough for TPTB. “So, you only completed 99 things today? What about that 100th thing?!?”

Word to the wise, if you want to keep your job, don’t tell the boss he’s being ridiculous when he’s being ridiculous. The ONLY thing coming from that is a nice big target in your back…

So this week I’ve been through all kinds of emotional crap, from bitterness to hostility, fear, self doubt…depression. It’s been a rough week to say the least.

To make matters worse, the Mrs. and our daughter have been on a Girl’s Trip all week, hundreds of miles and a few time zones away, so I’ve been left to my own devices and the voices in my head all week. Considering I’m my own harshest critic and my own worst enemy, this hasn’t been a good place to be. To say the least. I haven’t slept much or eaten much, but I DID completely avoid “the bottle” 100%. Now, I’m not much of a drinker – generally less than once a month, but dang! My old friend Mr. Jack Daniels has been calling to me repeatedly, especially in the dark of night when I couldn’t sleep.

Truth be told, I mostly hated my job. I was already looking around and putting out feelers, nonetheless getting sacked was a major shocker. I took my first “real” job (schedules and paycheck job) at 15 years old and I’m now 55 and I’ve NEVER been “fired” before. Still, I wanted it to be MY choice to leave that pressure cooker, not have it thrust upon me. I’ve been in essentially the same job, just at 3 different facilities, for 17 years and I’m BURNED. OUT. It wasn’t a career choice, it was something I fell ass-backward into all those years ago. And while I’ve learned a TON over the years, I have gained no satisfaction from it and in a way wished I’d never gotten into this line of work in the first place. I never had any love for it. No paycheck is worth the constant, unending stress my job entailed, I was just too scared to try something new – even when it was strongly suggested by my Doctor due to stress induced health issues. Yeah, that’s right. Rather than find a new career, I just stopped going to the doctor for about 8 years!

But now the choice was made for me. And all the fear aside, I’m actually relieved in a weird way.

But then, something amazing happened. I landed a new job! I start on MONDAY! The beauty of it is that the new gig is essentially doing the ONLY part of my old job(s) that I DID like! And NONE of the crap that I loathed! No more dealing with HR issues, no more accounting reports, no more dealing with City, State and Federal regulations and all that entails, no more corporate bullcrap. I almost can’t believe it! It sounds too good to be true, but it’s a company I have a long relationship with, I know the owners and they do outstanding work that I know I’ll be proud to be part of. They basically created a new position for me because they desperately need help and they know what I’m capable of. I gotta say, that feels pretty good.

So wish me luck! Things will probably be a little quiet on the ol’ blog while I get my bearings, but never fear, I’ll be back! Hopefully, better than ever now that I won’t be on-call 24/7/365 while trying to stave off an ulcer!

And the cherry on top is that the Mrs. comes home tonight!! Oh, how I’ve missed her! Six days apart is a LONG time when you’ve been with someone for 35 years!

Have a great weekend y’all. Thanks for stopping by!

Road Trip: Big Sur, CA… Back Where I Belong

Most of the best times of my early years were spent in the woods. Camping and backpacking treks were where I found myself, where I felt most at ease and at “home”. Then in my late teens I traded that all in for band practices, night clubs and recording studios. A stark contrast, I assure you.

I managed to get back out there every now and again but nothing like when I was young and gung-ho about it. Then came marriage and a young’en, getting involved in her school stuff, coaching soccer, trying to establish a career… All the adult stuff that nobody warns you about. And my time in the woods became a distant memory.

I’d been grousing over the last few years to the Mrs., that we needed to go camping “one of these days” and I even started gearing up for it since right before “the Plague” hit, but still we never made it out.

Well, finally, FINALLY it happened! As a Christmas gift, the Mrs. made arrangements for a stay in Big Sur, one of my favorite places in California.

A lot of people talk crap about California and Californians (and rightfully so, in most regards), but we have some AWESOME wilderness out here folks.

A perfect little waterfall 10 feet from our tent!

Now, full disclosure, this was more “glamping” than camping. Our accommodations was an “outfitters” tent, about 10′ x 12′, on a wooden deck, with a 10′ x 10′ porch with an awning. We had some minimal power and running water, and most exciting for these old bones, an actual bed! Super swanky digs for out in the woods, let me tell ya!

Otherwise, it was like an actual “car camping” excursion. We brought in our food, cooked over wood fires, and just chilled out in the woods next to a quickly moving creek with a couple nice falls. It was HEAVEN!

Our time there was short, just Saturday afternoon through late Monday morning, but we ate like royalty, slept like babies and had the most relaxing 48ish hours we’ve had in a long, long time. It was absolutely glorious.

While I fully comprehend that this was not a “real” campout, it was an awesome way to dip our toes back into the outdoors without sending ourselves into shock. And it was a great shakeout run to prep us for an actual real camping trip we have scheduled with the kids at the end of April. We did pretty great staying comfortable and well fed, but we learned a few lessons too that will make the next trip even better!

Now that I’ve gotten a taste for it again, I hope this becomes a regular part of our adventures, as I haven’t felt this good in years!

Special thanks to the Mrs. for getting outside her comfort zone and planning a trip that made this Boring Old Man feel like a kid again!

Thanks for stopping by!