#my2cents – Page 3 – The Boring Old Man

You never forget your first…

Lately I’ve been getting some traction in the quest to play with a band again, so I’ve been digging up a lot of “oldies” to listen to and prepare for auditions and such. These trips down memory lane brought up lots of recollections of past bands and gigs, and then out of the blue a song came on the radio that I hadn’t heard in a very long time… ( yes, I do still listen to the radio from time to time!)

This song was the VERY FIRST song I ever learned to play on a drumset!

Now, I was only 5 years old when this album was released, and while I started learning drum rudiments at 7, I didn’t get my first kit until I was maybe 10. So this tune was already a “classic” when I was figuring it out.

For the life of me, I could not learn the bass drum part and then by chance one afternoon I was hanging out with a friend of mine – Mike B. – at his house and he had a much older brother that was a drummer (with an amazing Ludwig kit, that put my jalopy kit to shame!). The brother was cool enough to let me sit down at his kit and he spent about half an hour teaching me that drum part.

After that day, everything just kinda clicked and I was off to the races. 4 years later I was starting my first band. Nearly 4 years after that, and a few bands later, I played my first gig at a nightclub I wasn’t even old enough to legally be in.

Forty-plus years later, hundreds of songs later,I STILL remember the first song I learned like it was yesterday.

It was pure serendipity. That afternoon in the finished attic space on Shady Lane in San Jose at that shiny Ludwig kit changed my life. Mike’s brother, who was close to twice my age, (and I’d never met before!) gave me a gift I could never repay.

It just goes to show, you never know what that small moment of kindness you show someone will lead to. I could never repay Mike’s brother, but I hope in my own ways I’ve paid it foreword, helping others along their path.

Just something to think about…

Thanks for reading!

Some truth, if you want it.

This essay was directed at at very particular and precise target, but this one quote, IMHO, is nearly universal to the “western” civilization.

“Our lack of self worth and submission to idolatry and ideologues is the real danger. We have always been our own greatest downfall.”

https://roycewhite.substack.com/p/an-open-letter-to-the-black-bourgeoisie?s=r

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having heroes or “idolizing” someone that excels in an area that interests you. That being said, since the advent of reality television and social media, those being put on a pedestal these days are questionable at best. What we’re NOT seeing is the “best of the best” being celebrated. Instead, it’s the loudmouth, the braggart, the sleaze-merchant that is held in high esteem by “the public”. But why? That is the question that confounds me.

Why are so many people spending so much time watching other people play video games or “unboxing” stuff? So much so that those “content creators” are amongst the highest paid on YouTube! Now, granted, I’ve never really been a video game guy, even when they were first a thing back in the late 1970’s/early 1980’s. After a few minutes I lost interest. But WATCHING someone else play? That’s as bad as watching paint dry. And yet some dude managed to earn millions of dollars by filming himself playing video games for other’s entertainment. Go figure… And don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against those people that found a way to earn a living with no talent or worthwhile skills. More power to ’em. I’d rather a person earn a living like that, than say as a charlatan preacher fleecing their flock or leeching off The State.

What I really can’t wrap my head around is the appeal of this social garbage. When all you bring to the table is the ability to buy a bunch of stuff… what is there to look up to?

Everybody can use some inspiration. Myself included. But what do say, the Kardashians, inspire? Aside from “being rich”? None of them seem to be terribly happy or well-adjusted people. None of them can maintain a relationship. Other than pictures of themselves, they don’t produce anything worthwhile. And yet, they’ve become a household name and amassed tens, if not hundreds, of millions of dollars because… I’m sorry, I don’t know how to finish that sentence. I cannot answer the “because”, because it makes no damn sense.

Again, nothing against them exactly, I just don’t understand the appeal.

We, as a people, need to start holding up those of worth. Stop supporting the lowest common denominator, and search out the true innovators, the new thinkers, the DIY entertainers that are doing it all without the corporate machine shoving them down our throats.

They ARE out there. Artists, musicians, writers, Podcasters, builders, chefs, etc. Normal, passionate people that are out there doing their thing, because they can’t NOT do it. Regular folk, following their calling. Not for fame and fortune, but because it is a part of their very soul. Seek these people out, and kick the reality TV and the Billboard charts to the curb. Those people, and I use the term loosely, don’t care one iota about you or your life, why should you care about theirs? So you have something to talk about with your co-workers tomorrow?

I fear I’ve kinda got off track here… My point is, there are a lot of great people doing new, innovative, exciting things with their lives and that is what I wish for everybody. Sadly, a lot of folks are led around “by the nose”, never thinking for themselves or attempting to accomplish anything in their lives. That way leads to misery.

Everybody’s got their “something” (H/T to Nikka Costa for that line!). Everybody has their own dreams and aspirations. I just hope for you, that those dreams go beyond “being rich” or “being famous”… Those two “rewards” take an awful toll, not really worth the price of admission IMHO.

So think about it… What’s YOUR thing? What do YOU want to accomplish, to create? Now, with that “thing” in mind, go out and find yourself someone successful in that arena. THAT is who you should be looking up to, not the celebrity du jour.

And above all, believe in yourself. Nobody, not your parents, not your spouse or your partner, not your friends or colleagues truly KNOW what you’re capable of. I’m a firm believer in the idea that we’re all capable of doing whatever it is we need to do to make our lives better. But talk is cheap, the real value is in doing.

I realize this has almost nothing to do with the original essay that prompted this writing, but in the big scheme of things there are certainly parallels. That’s just the way this tired old brain works…a little acorn of an idea leads to something else entirely. Just something to think about.

Thanks for reading!

Cognitive Dissonance: Does your past define your future?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my future and how I’m going to go about living through my “golden years” when/if I’m ever able to retire.

Now, full disclosure, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, some of them were very costly, some that certainly changed the course of my life. Some, there is simply no going back to “fix”, as they were time-sensitive so to speak. But this isn’t really about me…

I’ve noticed several instances lately where someone’s past has directly interfered with their present/future. And not because what they did in their past was so egregious but because somebody NOW doesn’t like what they did THEN.

This sort of thing has bothered me for a long time, but lately it seems to be at a fever pitch. My first example of this comes from my employment field. I work in what can best be described as a “health care adjacent” role. In other words, it’s a healthcare facility, but my role has nothing to do with providing health care and in fact my interactions with patients is slim to none. And yet, because it’s a licensed facility nobody is allowed to work here if they have a felony record, regardless of what position they apply for. Doesn’t matter what it was for, or how long ago it happened. Doesn’t matter if you “served your time” and have been “rehabilitated”. Doesn’t matter if you just had a short stint of probation and have been squeaky clean for the last 20 years. So you sold bag of weed when you were 18 and got busted and now you’re 28 and want to work as a dishwasher to support yourself? Too bad, you should’ve thought about that 10 years ago! Now, some facilities like mine (former employers) will make exceptions in rare cases (usually only if they are in a major bind and can’t find otherwise eligible candidates) but the exceptions are few and far between and take a spectacular amount of hoop-jumping to obtain. And believe me, they (the employer) are NOT going to jump through those hoops for a dishwasher. Or a housekeeper or maintenance guy. They will simply file your application in the nearest recycling container and move on to the next applicant.

In certain contexts I understand this. If you’re 25 and on your third DUI, I’m not going to hire you to be my delivery driver. But if you screwed up in college and got a DUI, but not so much as a parking ticket for the last 10 or 12 years, I’d suspect its safe to say you learned your lesson and you deserve a chance. If you embezzled from a previous employer and were convicted for it, I probably don’t want you working in my accounting department. But a blanket ban on employment seems really draconian. And frankly, unkind at the base level.

This kind of stuff has irked me for a long, long time, but lately it seems so much worse and it’s showing up in places where really it has no place.

I was recently watching Senate hearings having to do with judicial appointments. (As an aside, if you’ve never watched any of these, you should – very enlightening.) One of the appointees was being grilled by Senator Cruz from Texas. (No, I’m not a fan, he just happened to be the one speaking at the time). Anyhow, he’s grilling the judicial candidate about a paper she wrote over 25 years ago while still a law student. You could tell the candidate was really peeved about it and kept repeating “that was over 25 years ago, Senator” as if to say “don’t hold that against me, I was young and dumb then”.

Now, in that particular instance, I felt the line of questioning WAS at least pertinent to the position and frankly with what she’d written all those years ago, I’d probably have been inclined to disqualify her from the judicial appointment too, but it got me thinking. Aren’t we, as living, evolving human beings allowed to change? And if so, shouldn’t that change account for something? Does life experience count for anything?

I don’t know anything about this particular judge (yes, she’s currently a judge, but had been nominated for spot in a higher court…) but I did find out (‘cuz I looked it up!) that she is just slightly younger than me, so if nothing else we share the same generation as each other. Unlike me, this lady was clearly an overachiever, Harvard Law and an appointment to the bench realitively young. I imagine her to be a very focused, organized person with pretty strong professional ambitions. She’s probably spent her entire life doing all the “right” things, maybe dreaming of one day being on SCOTUS, who knows? And all that effort, all those years of work, all that sacrifice, all those dreams unraveled in 2 minutes over the contents of a school paper from two and a half DECADES back. Do you think that when she was a young, bright eyed law student writing that paper back in the 1990’s she suspected for even a nanosecond that those words on that paper would come back to effectively slam the brakes on her career 25 years later? Highly unlikely. She was probably just doing her best to sound thoughtful and sincere so her Prof would give her a good grade on the paper.

Having “come up” during the same time period, I can tell you with 100% accuracy that my thoughts and opinions changed on damn near everything, SUBSTANTIALLY, over the last 25 years. If the words of 25-year-old me were going to be held against me now? Good grief, I’d be living in a box under a bridge! Nobody would hire me for my current role with my 25 year old attitudes, unless they were clinically insane. That’s the upside of aging, you can actually learn. You can change your mind. You can GROW as a PERSON.

Take the latest Rogen kerfuffle for example. Here’s a guy that’s done quite a few things, he’s met a lot of interesting people and clearly he’s CURIOUS and looking for new information and insights all the time. Hell, you could say he’s “Professionally Curious”. So he talks to people from all walks, across the political spectrum on wildly divergent subjects and puts it out there for the other MILLIONS of curious people. He’s not frothing at the mouth, he’s not insulting anyone that doesn’t agree with him, hes not attempting to indoctrinate anybody, he’s just putting the conversation out there, asking the questions that frankly, most “personalities” are far too scared to ask.

When I first read of Neil Young’s “demands” of Spotify, I literally laughed out loud. Here’s a guy that was mediocre, AT BEST, fifty freakin’ years ago. He’s been completely irrelevant for the last 20. And he’s gonna pull the “either he goes or I go” thing over a guy that millions listen to every day?!? What a maroon. When his dusty, crusty cohorts jumped on board with him, I felt sad for THEM. How irrelevant must you feel to hitch your wagon to a horse NOBODY cares about? The bitter irony of bunch of old Hippies demanding censorship is just too much!

When Joe made his apology, I thought, ” well, he’s a better man than I”, cuz honestly I couldn’t have helped myself from making fun of those idiot dinosaurs. But what I didn’t see coming were the other dingbats that saw all this unfolding and thought “ha! he’s on the ropes, what else can we throw at him?!?” So India Aire (another has-been) comes out trying to make folks remember she exists by digging up stuff from YEARS ago to keep the dog pile going? What’s next, some guy from Joe’s middle school complaining about the wedgie Joe gave him in gym class? When is enough, enough? When can we, as HUMANS, recognize that we and the world around us is constantly changing and evolving? When does “society” decide that your past can now stay in the past? Or that your opinions have sufficiently changed enough that now you’re allowed to show your face in public? What ever happened to forgiveness, not to mention the acceptance and inclusion everyone is crowing about these days? What is the point of demanding someone change if you plan to ostricicize them from society regardless, for prior “sins”?

Growing up in the 80’s, we had this…group?… by the name of “The Moral Majority”, led by a skeezy televangelist. As a young teen I despised these people and their Holier-than-thou attitude. (And I grew up in a strict religious household!) I always wondered “who do these people think they are, telling everyone how to live?!?” It seemed patently un-American and it certainly didn’t strike me as “workin’ for the Lord”. It was organized pestering and harassment of people (artists, musicians, etc.) that THEY deemed “wrong” in one way or another and did their best to stamp these people out.

What’s unique this time around is that unlike the 1980s, where it was a bunch of old fogies (such as myself, now) trying to stomp out youth culture, now the youth culture seems to revolve around tearing down or downright destroying anyone and anything that “offends” their tender sensibilities. Which puts me in the weird position of being an old guy that feels compelled to stomp out youth culture, because youth culture these days is bitter, unforgiving, judgemental, and just freakin’ TOXIC!

But seriously, for the life of me I cannot figure out what these people are up to! What is their reward for their incessant outrage? You hear phrases like “cancel culture doesn’t exist” and “we demand justice!” and we’re implored to think of the “marginalized” and the “underserved” above our own self-interests, and yet at every turn as soon as anyone makes a mistake, the rush is on to see who can destroy that person first. And if, heaven forbid, the accused isn’t contrite enough, doesn’t bow deep enough for their accuser, then it turns into a team sport until the accused is finally silenced, bankrupted and/or unemployable. Bonus points for the accusers if they get all 3!

The way I see it, this “culture” we find ourselves in, is destined to end in flames and destruction. When the only “positive” you bring to the table is a willingness and desire to tear others down, you’ll end up with nothing but rubble surrounding you.

It’s easy to condemn. It’s easy to break things. It’s easy to ridicule. These are the actions of the weak and the thoughtless.

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. Remember that old gem?

We are better than that. I don’t just mean Americans, I mean we humans. I don’t care where you’re from, what color your skin is, what religion you practice (or don’t practice, for that matter), you don’t have to be drawn in to the negativity. You don’t need to find that needle in a haystack that will destroy another human if it’s brought to light. Learn to accept the fact that NONE of us are perfect and that ALL of us are going down our own paths, and we’ll learn the lessons we need to learn along the way. Tearing down someone else won’t do anything to raise yourself up. Screaming those lessons in our faces just makes us want to ignore you.

Just my two cents…

Thanks for reading!