Don’t Blink!

Sheesh, it’s been a year already since I posted about putting this Blog on indefinite hiatus.  I cannot wrap my head around that…

Of course, I didn’t outright quit, but my posts have certainly been few and far between for the last year.  But it wasn’t until I received an “On This Day…” kicker from the folks at WordPress that I realized it had been a full year since I made the declaration about putting the writing on hold.

I’m happy to report that things are absolutely better for the Boring Old Man now than they were a year ago.  Is everything great?  No, not really.  But, do I dread waking up in the morning now?  No, not at all.

Just a quick little re-cap…

A couple months after that “back burner” post, I landed a new job.  I was cautiously optimistic about it, but it was something I desperately needed, so I jumped and hoped for the best.  Well, it hasn’t been great.  It’s been OK.  I’ve certainly had worse.  But it’s just OK.  The place was in much worse condition than I anticipated, and I expected 3-6 months of heavy lifting to get things where they need to be.  I’m now approaching 10 months in, and while the wheels are no longer in danger of falling off, we are nowhere near where I feel we should be.  So needless to say, there is a fair amount of frustration swirling around in my head and the internal debate has started up again – should I stay or should I go?!?  I’m not a quitter by nature, and I’ve never left a job in less than a year, but I’ve also had trouble knowing when to cut my losses… I’ll just say my eyes are open and I’ll certainly entertain any promising opportunities that may come my way, even if I’m not actively pursuing them.  For the moment, anyway.

The new band I joined didn’t last long, and I left the group after a few months, which culminated in one disastrous gig.  It was a better-than-nothing band for me, not something I was really interested in, but I had no other prospects at the time so I went ahead and agreed to do it when I was asked to do it.  That was my first mistake.  My second mistake was not fully engaging.  I didn’t really get any artistic payoff from it, therefore I didn’t spend any extra time practicing my craft, trying to be my absolute best. I just did it on autopilot, which made me kinda resent the whole thing.  And I honestly overlooked some red flags.  For a band to be GOOD, not just OK, there has to be chemistry amongst the players.  There was NONE in that band.  Especially with the bass player.  And for a drummer to not click with the bass player?  Nothing could be worse for a band.  And it wasn’t just that our playing styles didn’t mesh, every week I grew to dislike him more and more on a personal level.  There was just nothing there for me to latch on to.  Then we had our first gig.  Nothing special, just a bar gig.  I had never been so embarrassed being on stage with a group.  It was so unprofessional and amateurish that I simply couldn’t get over it. So that was it for me.  And I haven’t sat down to a drum kit since.  The rational part of my brain says I need to play again to wash that experience out of my hair.  But part of me still stings from how bad the situation was, to the point of not even wanting to pick up a pair of sticks again…  We’ll see how it goes.

The ol’ truck project hasn’t progressed at all, but she’s still dependable and approaching 335k miles on the clock.  I’ve still got a bunch of parts to replace, but between the new job and winter cold and rain, I had no ambition to do so.  Hopefully she’ll get some love over the summer!

All in all, my mental health has improved significantly.  My physical health is holding out.  I’ve been consistent with the gym workouts and getting out into nature for some walks, all positive things.  I haven’t set out on my surfboard for quite some time, but the itch is coming on strong.  I almost went out yesterday, but plans changed at the last minute and I didn’t make it out.  I do expect to be in the water before the month is out however.  I simply can’t put it off any longer.  It’s kinda like the drumming thing – I can act like I don’t care about it, ignore the equipment right in front of my face, and make up excuses as to why I can’t do it, but ultimately my brain, my DNA, won’t let it go.

The “new” rabbit is still with us, growing like a weed.  He’s destructive as can be – don’t let their cute outer shell fool you, rabbits are destroyers of worlds!  But he’s also getting more affectionate and he’s got a very funny personality (when he’s not tearing things up!), and he’s just a darn good looking rabbit!

I’ve got some things to look forward to, concert tickets mostly, and a trip to Hawaii at the end of the year for a wedding, so things aren’t as bleak as they’ve been.  It’s amazing what a little healing, a little hope and a little fun to look forward to can do for one’s outlook and attitude!

I hope to get back on these pages a little more often over the coming months, and get back to some sort of regularity.  Thanks to you all that have stuck it out with me and keep coming back.  I appreciate it greatly!

Take care of yourselves out there, and thanks for stopping by!