Black/Gray/White

There is an awful lot of fuss about “hate” these days, as if you didn’t know.  I don’t really understand it to be honest. 

Personally I LOVE a lot of things, I dislike a lot of things.  I’m indifferent to MOST things.  But I HATE very little in the grand scheme of things.

If you listen to the “mainstream” you’d be led to believe that it’s an either/or world.  Black or white.  That is to say, if you don’t love then automatically you must HATE.  I call bullshit on that one.

My BS meter is pegged.

The truth of the matter, for me at least, is that unless we’re talking about something that directly affects me and mine I don’t really pay much attention or care about it.  Sorry to disappoint.

I’m very much a live and let live kind of person.  I’m weird and I know I’m weird, so I don’t expect everyone to agree with me.  By the same token, I’m not going to agree with everyone or the mainstream in general.   But that doesn’t mean I HATE the mainstream. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion,  even if I personally think their opinions are moronic.  That doesn’t mean I hate them.  Feel free to think I’m moronic.    You won’t be the first or last in that regard.  But you shouldn’t hate me for my opinions.  Life is full of grey areas. 

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

For example, I am a big admirer of art – painting for instance.   I love the classics, Van Gough,  et al and I love surrealism like Dali and Escher and even a lot of modern works.  But if you paint a big square, monochromatic, on a canvas and try to pass it off as “Art”… well, not to me it isn’t.   But that doesn’t mean I hate Art, or the artist of said monochromatic square. I just don’t like it or care about it.  It’s not going to make me angry that it’s hanging in a gallery.  I’m just going to ignore it and move on to what does interest me.  Simple.

This is not to say you should accept or support ideas you don’t agree with.  By the same ideal, you shouldn’t demand acceptance and support for all of yours either.  A good idea can sell itself, you usually don’t need to force it upon others.

Reducing someone to one simple fact and then deciding to hate that person because of that one thing is beyond absurd.  I’m sure there are exceptions to that, you know, for serial murderers, corrupt politicians, IRS agents, etc. but generally speaking most people are complex and don’t fit in to one little box.

For another example, you could say (vehemently) that I do in fact HATE the accordion.   Its sound to my ears is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard,  combined with a cat who’s tail has been stepped on.  But that’s just me.  I don’t hate accordion players for their terrible life choices, but I sure hate the sound of their instrument on a primal level.  By extension,  you could say I hate Tejano music,  as it features the accordion prominently.  But that by no means equates to hating Latino peoples.   It means I most likely won’t attend an event that features Tejano music.  That’s about it…  I’m not going to go around demanding Tejano music be banned because I hate the accordion.   I’m not going to scream “cultural appropriation!” <gasp!> because Tejano uses western European styles (polka, etc) as their base.  I’m just going to move on to something I DO appreciate.

It feels like the media is trying to whip up this frenzy of hate, but if you look below the surface, most of it is hogwash.

Sure, there are certainly some idiots out there that will lay their blanket of hate over an entire group, whether it be racial, economic, religious, gender/orientation, whatever.  In my opinion anyone like that is stunted at best and certainly not playing with a full deck.  No matter what club/clique/organization/lifestyle you identify with, chances are there are some major differences between you and the rest of the people in your group.  That’s life.  That’s humanity.   We all need to learn to not take ourselves so seriously,  and more importantly not let the media lead you around by the nose, looking for a boogeyman behind every utterance and action.

I’d love to see everyone just calm down a bit.  It’s OK, not everyone is going to like you or what you’re doing.  It doesn’t mean they hate you.  But trying to force your will on them, might make them turn that corner.  And besides, hate is exhausting. It takes effort and dedication to TRULY hate someone. Talk about wasted energy! To quote someone I can’t recall: “Holding onto hate is like taking poison everyday, in hopes that someone else will die from it.” Wise words…

Another thing, and I say this as delicately as possible… Over-use of the word “hate” will eventually render it meaningless. Much like what happened with “racist” over the last few years. Now, because “racist” lost its power, it morphed into “white supremecy”, which has caused yet more friction, division and anger. But that’s a story for another day…

While I don’t believe for a nano-second that “words = violence”, words DO have power. Using them incorrectly diminishes that power and inflames people. Not a great habit to get into.

Just something to think about.  Thanks for reading!

Hitting the nail on the head.

A quote from Tulsi Gabbard from the CPAC (?!?! a bold and shocking move for a Democrat) yesterday in Orlando. “Those in power see themselves as the high priests in a secular theocracy. This explains why they see those who disagree with them as heretics. So it’s not surprising that those who reject their leadership, these are the people who were targeted by Biden’s attorney general as domestic terrorists simply for holding anti-authority views,” she said.

RTWT/ https://www.yahoo.com/news/tulsi-gabbard-slams-fellow-dems-125257903.html

I’ve never understood the “frothing at the mouth” political movements in the Land of the Free. These latest “progressive” movements are every bit as Oppressive as the so-called “Moral Majority” back in the 80’s, which is obvious…but the loudest voices of this “movement” weren’t yet born or at least weren’t old enough to be aware. I just never connected the dots. Makes sense to me now that I see it explained in this way.

I walked away from religion in my late teens, and I certainly don’t need to replace it with worship of government.

Tolerance and inclusion goes both ways. Agreeing to disagree doesn’t mean you “lose”. EVERYONE is entitled to their own opinion, even if yours is divergent from the “norm”.

Just something to think about…

Thanks for reading!

Empathy Fatigue

The other night, the Mrs. and I were watching the toob and an all-too-familiar commercial started playing,  imploring the viewers to donate “just” a few cents day to help the poor and impoverished in Africa that are starving and have no medical care. 

It was, as I’m sure was intended, a heart wrenching sight.  Anyone with any sense of humanity would feel for these people and want to “help” these less fortunate souls.

But what struck me, was how this commercial in 2022 was almost EXACTLY like the ones all over the airwaves in the 1970s.  And all throughout every decade since.  And those are just what I can personally remember,  they may have started earlier, I just have no personal recollection prior to maybe 1972. Geez, it got so common the South Park guys took a run at it, at least 10 years ago. Anybody remember Starvin’ Marvin from Ethiopia?

So this got me thinking…  We’ve been “helping” the poor and impoverished of that continent for at least 50 years and nothing has improved?  How can this be?

I’m as sure as can be without having actual proof that corruption on the part of the charities and any and all government agencies and/  NGOs is part of the problem, but surely that isn’t the only problem.

And it isn’t just Africa, we’ve seen this same plea for kids in Central and South America and Haiti too.  And yet millions of dollars and thousands of voluneer hours later, all these places are still in squalor, with sick and malnourished people dying on the vine at every turn.

Have we disturbed the natural cycle of things?  Is that why, in spite of decades long attempts to bring a better life to the less fortunate, its as bad or worse than it ever was?

We see similar things roll out here stateside, but more often from the grifting political class than charity organizations, but they do it too.   It’s often for the children,  or that’s how it’s framed anyway.  “We’ve got kids that can’t learn on empty stomachs” so we NEED to raise taxes (or your donation) to provide discounted lunches to the poor.  Then free lunches.  Then free breakfast AND lunch.  Then breakfast, lunch AND after-school care… The government’s solution is ALWAYS to take more from the “haves” to give away to the “underserved”.   And the massive, decades long investment has brought dropping grades, lower graduation rates, and fewer kids ready for the real world. The “solution” to these drastic failures is always more money for more “programs” from the tax payer.    Toward the end of that line we get the sob stories of the debt-burdoned; they’ve amassed six-figure debt to get their Bachelor’s degree in grievance studies, but now nobody will “give” them a job. They can’t pay back their student loans AND pay their lease payments on the new Lexus on a barista’s wages, so it’s back to the government’s trough for “relief” from their bad decisions…  And then they have the gall to shout they’re protesting for “economic justice”?!?

Justice for who?  Certainly not the tax payer bailing you out of a really bad life choice.  I have a crazy, outside the box idea…I think all those people that paid those exorbitant tuitions and wound up with a useless degree and zero employment opportunities should ask the universities for refunds.  After all, they sold a defective product, right?  Many universities have endowments that reach into the BILLIONS of dollars, AND they already get government monies.  If they are graduating students with no marketable skills, why should the taxpayers be further responsible for the costs?  Maybe if the universities had some skin in the game, they would stop with the foolish feel-good degrees and indoctrination and get back to teaching valuable skills.

The last few years the pleas have started to rachet up to help the “unhoused”…  No doubt there are many folks that ended up on the streets due to forces beyond their control, but far more are there only because of the choices they made and continue to make.  In fact, just last weekend we encountered one, walking down the street on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, screaming obscenities and being generally aggressive to everyone in his path.  And since this person clearly has nowhere to go, he will just roam the town, accosting everyone unfortunate enough to be in his path.

And the government’s “solution” to this problem, when anything is done at all, is to build housing units that come in at 6-figures per unit?  Really?  And the home and business owners who are unfortunate enough to be in the crosshairs when tent cities and squalor show up on their doorstep?  Nothing is done for them.  If they try to do something on their own, or <gasp> try to organize amongst themselves without bureaucratic nonsense, they are now the bad guys.  Not the person shooting up in their doorway.  Not the person breaking into their cars to steal anything that will get their next fix…  There is such a weird logic surrounding this stuff… “Your problems are less important than theirs because you have more than them.  So because you are “privileged” to have a roof over your head (note that what YOU have is never earned or deserved,  regardless of how hard you worked to get it!) you have no right to complain about a junkie passed out in your doorstep.”  

That’s a lot of gov’t cheese!

I don’t begin to think I know all the answers, but it seems pretty apparent that what we’re doing now, and for the last several decades, sure isn’t doing the trick.  Things are worse in every metric.

Yep.

I think I’ve reached maximum  empathy.  Looking out for me and mine is exhausting as it is, and no small amount of elbow grease and sweat equity goes into what little we have.  This is not to say “every man for himself!”, or to even imply that we should no longer help our fellow man.  But let’s face it, your twelve cents a day isn’t going to amount to a hill of beans (figuratively OR literally) for the kids in third-world hell holes.  How about instead, make a sandwich for a hungry person in your city?  Or get involved in a community garden?  Hell, even picking up trash off the road has social benefits. There are a dozen things you can do in your own neighborhood to make your “world” a better place. If everyone concentrated on their own street/town/county and made small improvements individually or with small, self-contained groups, lives would be changed.

The next time your local ballot asks “should we raise taxes/issue bonds/increase fees for…?” the answer should be a resounding NO.  Nobody is more careless with your hard-earned money or accomplishes less with it than your government. Despite ever increasing tax rates, the problems compound annually. This isn’t news, it’s common knowledge. Don’t belive me? Spend 10 minutes here: https://www.openthebooks.com/ and you’ll never look at “government spending” the same. Its beyond outrageous! I’m not sure how Americans came to believe that the answer to all of everybody’s problems is MORE government, more regulation, more taxation. I will never understand this mindset.

And the next time your guilt compells you to call that 1-800 number and bust out your credit card to “help”, ask yourself “how much of somebody else’s 60-cents-a-day was used to film that commercial?”  And how much are they paying to air it?  That airtime, even on cheesy late-night stations isn’t inexpensive. I do believe -100%- that a business can be charitable, but I also believe any business set up as a charity, is suspect at best.

I understand that this post might make me out to be a cold, heartless bastard. And I am, sometimes. But generally speaking, I believe most people, like 90%, are genuinely “good” and Americans overall can be exceptionally giving and generous. Unfortunately that leaves a large pool of suckers to be preyed upon, by tugging at your heartstrings, for the 10% that have no conscience or morals…

I guess what I’m saying is try to be a good person, but be smart about it. Don’t let your kindness be taken advantage of by the unscrupulous.

I’m not trying to be a downer, and I do really try to keep this a positive place here, but this situation has been nagging at me for days now, just had to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading!

Please, be extra kind today!

I am a very lucky man, married to a wonderful, gorgeous woman for over 30 years now. We still enjoy each other’s company, we still make each other laugh and we still have more in common than not, even after 3 decades.

But on this notoriously difficult “holiday” of Valentine’s Day, I know that most folks aren’t in the same boat as I. And for those without somebody special in their lives, or worse, if they’ve recently lost that someone special, today is especially difficult.

I just want to out it out there, to try to be just little more kind and compassionate towards those you encounter today. A friendly hello, a kind smile, those little things can go a long way for someone feeling the blues today.

And if you are fortunate enough to have someone special in your life, make sure you let them know. It doesn’t take money or a bunch of time, just tell that person how much you appreciate them being part of your life.

Helping someone have a better day isn’t difficult and we if all give it a try, we might just find ourselves in a better place.

Just some food for thought…

Thanks for reading!

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