Uncategorized – Page 21 – The Boring Old Man

As the hamster wheel turns…

Back at work today. Another “typical” Monday, as if such a thing truly exists. I just cannot seem to get in the swing of things today, and the day is half over already.

It’s not because I had a little too much party in my weekend, it’s not a daylight savings glitch. Nothing bad has happened here today, in fact it’s been pretty smooth, all things considered. I think it’s simply a case of burnout.

I’ve been working in senior living facilities for 15 years now. This is my 3rd CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) in that time, and I think I’ve just had enough.

I fell ass-backward into this industry, due to a really aggressive recruiter that simply would not take no for an answer, and at the time it seemed like a good opportunity. And it was. That first community was great. Ownership was good, the residents for the most part were nice, I had an AMAZING crew and the icing on top was that the facility was only 0.6 miles from home, so I was able to walk to work for 6 years, and it was fantastic. It was another recruiting experience that got me to jump ship to a new facility. Within a week I knew beyond all reasonable doubt that I’d made a HUGE mistake changing jobs, but I was determined to make the best out of it and I stuck it out for 5 long, grueling years at the most repulsive, toxic workplace I’ve ever encountered. It wasn’t all bad, I did learn some extremely valuable lessons working there, I made a couple friends and I made some excellent contacts there, but the overall experience was beyond negative. When I got to my literal breaking point, that very same day I got a notification about an opening for my exact job at a place revered amongst senior care facilities. The absolute Pinnacle of the industry. And I got the gig!

It took quite a while to become dissallusioned with the new place. After a few months I felt, not quite “tricked”, but certainly the victim of lies-of-ommission. I was lead to believe this place was a fine-tuned machine, with a place for everything and everything in its place. Well, that turned out to be about 20% true. The OTHER 80% was up to me to figure out and put in place.

Now here I am, just having had my four year anniversary last month, and I feel I have completely, utterly lost my taste for the work on pretty much every level.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not simply a case of being ungrateful. This job has been pretty much the ONLY time in my entire adult life that I’ve been financially “secure”. I do have some really nice, talented people working for me and I’ve been able to promote some really deserving staff into higher levels, which is rewarding in its own way. I’ve learned a lot here, and the experience isn’t without some positive moments.

The problem is I really just don’t care anymore. I’ve got a staggering, debilitating case of indifference, and it’s making it hard to function effectively.

I believe this element is one of my DNA building blocks

Changing jobs is a stressful situation, not to mention the whole “interview process”. I’m not in any hurry to jump into that can of worms. But I’ve got another 2 decades to go before “retirement”, which in my case will likely just simply be dropping dead, as the entirety of my *wealth, and thus retirement evaporated in the DotCom crash many years ago, never to be restored.

The thing is, I don’t have any sort of objection to working. With the exception of a prolonged stretch of unemployment during the same DotCom crash era mentioned above, I’ve been holding down jobs since I was 14. Even younger if you count the newspaper delivery routes I did as a kid.

When I worked as a tradesman, you’d have moments where you could stand back and say “yeah, I BUILT THAT!”, or “I FIXED THAT”, or what have you. There were moments of pride, of feeling accomplished. Something untangible… the feeling of turning raw materials into a finished, useful product, made you feel GOOD. Being productive is good for you mentally. Solving “real world” problems that are literally sitting on the bench right in front of you gives you that dopamine rush everyone is trying to glean from FB and IG…

But now? Now my days consist of 70+ emails a day, at least dozen phone calls a day, countless meetings and conversations about everything and nothing simultaneously. It’s exhausting, and yet at the end of the day, on MOST days, I find myself wondering “what did I do today?”. Oh, I assigned, I delegated, I sorted out, I circled back…I do all sorts of stuff, all day long. But really, I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything, just spinning my wheels, keeping the wheels of this places from coming off.

I don’t think this is what life is supposed to be like. As a middle-aged, “CIS-gendered” paleface without a college degree, I don’t have a lot of options open to me. I just simply cannot continue to do this for another 20 years. I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, but it sure ain’t this!

Can one actually DIE from BOREDOM? Asking for a friend…

Thanks for reading!

Concert Review: K. Flay at the Regency Ballrom, SF.

K. Flay is a weirdo, and we love it! This was our second opportunity to catch her live and she. was. awesome!

We’ve been to several shows at the Regency Ballroom, and it’s a fun place for shows, just no surprises insofar as the venue itself.

A group (?) by the name Corook started off the night. A 3 piece outfit, vocals/guitar/banjo(!!!), a drummer and a guitarist/keys player. The leader of the ensemble was very likable, and had a great rapport with the audience, despite claims to being “new at this”. It was a short 30 minute set, full of quirkiness and fun. The highlight for me was the the tune “I don’t f*uck with Snakes” – hilarious! All in all it was a great introduction to a new, promising artist.

The middle act was Kid Sistr (sic), a 3-piece, all female band. I’ll be honest, I have a soft spot and an innate respect for trios, especially one’s that don’t rely on a bunch of electronics and loops/backing tracks to fill their sound. These young ladies were just a good, old fashioned power-trio, with no special effects, no gimmicks. While it wasn’t the strongest love performance I’ve ever seen, I was impressed by their songwriting. The complexity belies their youth. Musically they are very solid, vocally is where the youth and lack of experience shows. I’ll give them props for having the guts to throw a cover of the Beastie Boys “Sabotage” in their set. When I heard the opening riff, I though “oh no!”, but they actually pulled it off. Good on ya girls, glad to see the kids out there doing their thing and making it happen!

K. Flay took the stage right about 10pm She opened the set with “Four Letter Words”, and just came out swinging! Her band was tight and on point, not a note or beat out of place.

The last time we saw her was a few years ago, when nobody had really heard of her yet. We liked her then, BUT we LOVE her now! She can be at times menacing, as though she’s prowling the stage looking for a fight…then she’s just completely losing herself, flailing around like a maniac, and sometimes she was just locked into the groove. Her band was definitely a backing band. They weren’t really part of “the show”, and it mattered not at all, as K. Flay was simply in command of that stage. Unlike most ” solo female” artists, she doesn’t need a gaggle of back up dancers, a bunch of props or costume changes to entertain. I defy anyone to see K. Flay live and NOT be enthralled by her performance.

All in all, it was a great night. Some excellent performances, some really great songs and just a great vibe all night long.

Thanks K. Flay, et al, it was a night to remember!

Thanks for reading!

Flashback Friday! Ladies edition.

I’ll be honest, I’ve had a tremendous love for women in music as early back as I can remember as a child. My mother was a huge fan of Cher back in the 60’s and 70’s, so that’s probably where it started, but as I came into my pre-teen years, glued to the radio, I really found myself drawn to bands with a female vocalist. Not just any female vocalist mind you, but the kick ass, rock & roll women that made you sit up and take notice.

So here we go, some kick ass women, rockin’ out to get your Friday moving in the right direction!

Note that I am only incuding female fronted BANDS, no solo artists. That’s a Flashback for another Friday. In no particular order/decade/genre, just some stuff I love!

Too cool for words. Love this lady and this band!

I was simultaneously infatuated and terrified of this woman. One of a kind!

Johnette, the only artist that ever compelled me to write a fan letter!!

Three Zappa alumni and the wildest Glam Girl of the era!

Patti had a way of making you believe every word she sang.

Still hanging ’round the Paisley Underground, before becoming a household name.

Thanks for listening! Now go out and enjoy your weekend!

Houston, we have a problem…

Just under two months ago, I made a post about the cost of my fill up at the gas station. I was taken aback that prices had shot up to $4.99/gallon.

Ah, the good old days…

Now, to be fair, I took this picture close to work, which is a pricey zip code, but it’s not that far from home. This jolt to the wallet is coming in hot!

I do believe this is when the pilot puts on the Fasten Seatbelt signs. Buckle up folks. I suspect we’re going to experience a lot of turbulence ahead.

Sadly, we’re already mid-flight with this buffoon at the controls…

So, a few quick tips from the Boring Old Man:

1. Check your tire pressure. Proper pressure = better mileage.

2. Plan your trips. Better one long run with a few stops than a bunch of short ones.

3. Accelerate slowly and smoothly.

Better yet, ride a bike or walk when you can!

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Buy food. These price increases will not be eaten by the distributors and grocery stores, it will be added to the cost YOU pay at the checkout. It’s only a matter of time before the ugliness of fuel costs trickle down to the grocery aisle. You’ve been warned.

An attitude adjustment

The Mrs. and I were in the car the other day when I made a rather unkind statement regarding the incompetence of the driver in front of me, who was at the time driving between 15-20 mph BELOW the limit on the highway.

Before I continue, I will say I am by no means a fast or aggressive driver. I pretty much stick to the right lane and I haven’t had a traffic infraction of any sort since maybe 1992… I could be off slightly, but not by much. My point being, I am generally calm and mellow behind the wheel. Except in San Francisco- calm and mellow will get you killed in that city, but I digress…

Anyhow, the Mrs. says to me; “you shouldn’t grouse so much”.

For the vocabulary impaired:

grouse verb

groused; grousing

Definition of grouse (Entry 2 of 3)

intransitive verb

: COMPLAIN, GRUMBLEgroused about the higher prices

Anyhow, I said, “yeah you’re right. I just get frustrated by nincompoops.” And she encouraged me to chill out and not let it get to me.

Ten minutes later I’m forced to react to another nincompoop that decided to change into my lane, without looking or signaling, and in that nanosecond that I was about to have another outburst, I remembered my wife’s words and all I said, calm as could be, was “Look, this is me not grousing.”

We had a good chuckle over it and a good conversation followed about, basically, not letting the bastards get ya down.

That’s a hard thing to do. Especially nowadays. It seems at every turn, somebody is trying to ruin your day. Maybe it’s your boss, maybe it’s a customer. Could be your mate, or your parent, or your kids. More often than not, a total stranger.

For me at least, a lot of my aggravation comes from other’s inconsiderate behavior. Whether it’s getting cut off in traffic or some dingbat blocking the entire grocery aisle with their cart while they compare labels. Maybe your neighbors play the TV too loud, or someone lets their Harely idle for half an hour, waking the neighborhood and the dead. It’s usually something small. Some irritating impediment. But when you add up 5, 10, 20 of those little irritations in a day, suddenly you find yourself wishing you had a nice, heavy mallet in your hand to help let your feelings be known to the irritant.

But that random comment from the Mrs. was a good reminder for me. Irritation is in your head, and you DO have control over how you react. You just need to use that control, and not let the irritants win. Simple, right?

Nobody wants to be “that guy” that bitches and moans about everything, or worse gets completely bent outta shape over every little slight. I can’t stand people like that, and they are everywhere. You don’t want to be in that club, it’s a miserable place to hang out.

I don’t really believe everyone is out to ruin everybody else’s day. Most of them are just too stupid and/or ill mannered to know any better. That doesn’t mean their behavior is OK, it just means you don’t have to let it bring you down.

Just something to think about the next time somebody pushes your buttons. Or drives 47mph in front of you on the highway…

Thanks for reading!

A Whole Lotta Nothin’…

Came home Thursday after work feeling “not quite right”. A horrible night of sleep followed, waking up Friday to a fever, chills, the whole nine yeards. It became evident quickly that I was in no condition to go to work, and I had to call out again. I couldn’t believe it happened so shortly after my episode with the Plague back in January. Thankfully it was just the flu this time around, according to 2 negative covid tests.

The long and short of it is that I was completely out of it for the last 3 days, and still not doing great, though the fever has finally settled somewhat.

A whole lotta nothing accomplished this weekend. This is getting old… Hoping the coming week is a vast improvement. Not being sick for several years then getting really sick twice in less than 60 days has me a little paranoid. Let’s hope its just a seasonal thing and we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program. Got several events planned this month, don’t need anymore health nonsense keeping us away from real life!

Have a good week all!

Flashback Friday! Post-hippie San Francisco Bay Area.

Everybody with two brain cells to rub together and even the most rudimentary grasp of history knows San Francisco was THE music mecca of the 60’s. Countless legends broke out of SF in the 60’s and 70’s, but what a lot of people don’t remember are the awesome Bay Area bands in the 80’s and 90’s.

For today’s flashback I’m going to focus on my faves from the SF “scene”. Not all the bands were FROM San Francisco, but they all played there because that is where the vast majority of the venues are in the Bay Area.

And before anyone gets their panties in a wad, I will NOT be including metal or hip-hop in this Flashback. Yes, there were plenty of them around – well, not so much hip-hop as metal, but those scenes were still burgeoning. The Rock/New Wave/Punk bands were getting most of the attention. At least throughout the 80’s. I do like hip-hop and some metal (Def more into hip-hop than metal for sure tho) but there were so many bands back then that I loved, I’m just going to focus on them.

And here we go!

Wire Train. The BEST of the Bay…IMHO

To me, this album was the Pinnacle of SanFran music in the 80’s. I was fortunate enough to see them live a few times and even got to hang out with them backstage at a couple of those shows.

Once while working in downtown San Jose I ran into their drummer Brian and we had lunch together on Market Street. Super nice guys, outstanding records.

Shut up and DANCE! Words to live by!

Ok, this wasn’t their best song maybe, but it sure was fun! Every dance floor I ever witnessed would be PACKED when this song came on. And Pearl could really belt it!

Should have been HUGE…

Eddie and the Tide were born just a little outside the bay, but they made their mark here. This record was produced by Eddie Money (RIP) as I recall and got tons of radio play here on KOME and KSJO, two of San Jose’s biggest stations at the time. This video, or at least parts of it, were filmed in Santa Cruz when I was (practically) living there, so they felt like the Home Team to me.

Back when they were THE rising stars here, there was a contest on KSJO – A “Best of the Bay” thing where local bands would get a song played and the listening audience would call in to vote for the best song. The “prize” was an opening slot for Eddie and Co. at an old club in Campbell called Puma’s. Much to our shock and delight, my band won and we got the opening gig. It was the first time we played with a real “pro” band, not some kids coming out the garage like us, plus radio people at the gig… It was incredibly exciting and terrifying at the same time and by far the biggest crowd we’d played for up until then. Good times. Great memories. I was absolutely certain they were going to be a huge band, but for some reason they just never took off.Pity.

I was maybe 14 when I first heard Romeo Void, and was hooked. They were pretty creepy sounding to me and really captured the gritty sound of the city. Short lived band, but the songs have withstood the test of time. Still sounds creepy and gritty 40 years later. The dissonant guitar still gives me chills.

Last but certainly not least, Translator. You could not get away from this song when came out, it was infectious and everywhere. Surprisingly, these guys beat the “sophomore slump” and put out a brilliant second album. I only got to see them once, as an opening act for someone I can’t recall at the moment.

Ok folks, that is all I got for the day. Don’t fret if I missed your favorite, this is a mighty fertile field. I’ll come back to dig up some more gems from this Era before too long.

Thanks for reading (and listening!)

Places that are gone. The first in a series.

I have lived my entire life in Santa Clara County. I spent about half a year bouncing around Santa Cruz County, but never had a permanent address, so I don’t really count that as a place I “lived”.

If you mention Santa Clara County to anyone NOT from around here, the general response is “where is that?”. But despite growing up in the shadow of world famous San Francisco, Santa Clara County is equally famous, it’s just better known by its nickname “Silicon Valley”.

We moved into what is still my parents’ house shortly before my 5th birthday, where I stayed until 19.

As you might imagine, the place was a LOT different back then.

I got my first taste of “growth” in 1st grade, when it was announced that my school was closing. It was the first school built in the district, and they tore it down to build condominiums. The beginning of the end…

Since 1972/73, we’ve lost so many orchards, vineyards, schools, local-legend restaurants, night clubs, shops, etc. Really, you can’t even recognize the place anymore.

So in this series, I plan to document some of the “places that are gone” from my youth.

It’ll probably only be interesting to me and any other “townies” that happen to still be around. (Which are few and far between – every single friend I had up until my 20’s has moved out of the area or out of the state completely.) Nonetheless, I thought it might be good for me to relive some fond memories of days gone by. That is the hope anyway.

Today, I’ll kick things off with one of my all time favorite haunts, Guitar Showcase in San Jose.

The first time I stepped into Guitar Showcase, Im guessing 1980, but I may be off by a year either way, I was immediately enamored of the place. It was a pretty funky, older building, and the drum “department” was incredibly small, stuffed into a corner on the ground floor.

My buddy Patrick and I used to haul ourselves down there on our 10-speed bikes, about a 5 mile jaunt. And we’d stay for hours, looking at EVERYTHING.

One of the things I always appreciated about GS, was the friendliness of the staff. I’m positive two 12-year-old boys hanging out in your store must have been annoying as can be, yet we were never hustled out of there, never treated poorly. I wish I could say the same about other music shops…

I saw my very first electronic drum in that store – the Syndrum. I got to check out all kinds of “futuristic” synthesizers upstairs in the keyboard dept… I learned how PA systems are set up. I saw my first paisley Telecaster and held my first left handed guitar, which I didn’t even know existed at the time! (It would be 40 years later that I bought my first lefty, after considerable time trying to overcome the difficulties of playing a “standard”, right handed guitar.)

Many years later they’d open an annex across the parking lot, with studios for lessons and a rental shop and a used-gear showroom. At that point, the place had an intractable magnetic pull on me, and I couldn’t seem to drive down the road without pulling in.

We don’t live too far from the shop, and I still pop in on occasion, so you can imagine my dismay, ney HORROR as I drove by last month and saw chain link fence surrounding the entire main building.

I literally felt sick to my stomach when I saw it, and involuntarily shouted “Oh NO, Look!!” to my wife… She tried to be reassuring, saying maybe they’re just going to remodel, bring things up to date… This calmed me down a little, as it COULD be the case. The building was old, and I sincerely doubt it met with current building and ADA and fire/life safety codes. There was a really narrow, creaky stair case to get upstairs, so that alone could get you shut down, should one prick lawyer get a wild hair up his azz and decide to sue.

So, I waited to see what might transpire. I decidedly chose NOT to look into it, as I didn’t want any bad news. Sadly, just a few weeks later I drove by and that funky, creaky, weird smelling but delightful old building was nothing more than a pile of rubble.

I nearly cried, I kid you not. Even writing about it now has me choked up a bit. I haven’t had the heart to tell Patrick, whom is still one of my best friends 40+ years later. He moved away for college and never came back to SJ to live, so he doesn’t have the deep connection to the place I do but you can bet he’s still got some fond recollections of the place.

After witnessing the tragedy (part of me wanted to stop and take a picture, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It would be like photographing the corpse of a loved one.) I decided to look into the story, which was a good news/bad news situation.

The “good news” is the shop says they will remain open in the old annex building. The bad news is the property was sold to an “affordable housing” contractor, and leased back to Guitar Showcase.

It’s great that they’ll keep the doors open, for a while anyway, but I see the writing on the wall. I foresee one of two things transpiring in the near future. One, even though they say they’ll remain open “during construction”, it’s going to wreck their customer base. It’s a small plot of land, barely half an acre, so when the heavy equipment rolls in and the tradesmens’ trucks take up every available parking space for half a mile, the customers will stop dropping in, revenues will drop and BOOM!, outta business. Or two, they manage to keep the doors open until the lease expires, and the owners will NOT renew, so they can tear down the annex and cram more stuff onto the lot. The firm building the new housing isn’t a local outfit, so I can all but guarantee they do not care one iota about the history of this place. Goddamn vultures.

Either way, I’m afraid their days are numbered.

To be perfectly candid, I feel at least somewhat responsible for the shop doing poorly. As a “starving musician” in my earlier years, you had to find the very best deals you could and GS, being a small, independent shop couldn’t put out the heavy discounts some of their competitors could, due to sheer volume.

Then came along eBay and Craigslist, and then Reverb.com, so the online used gear market just exploded! Great for poor musicians, terrible for retail establishments. Nonetheless, I did buy from them, and often, but usually the smaller stuff like drum sticks and heads, cables and mic stands, stuff like that.

There is certainly no way the remaining staff at GS knows how much they’ve meant to me these last 4 decades or so, but I will miss them when that final note carries into the wind and the doors close forever.

If, by some tiny chance, should someone from the shop actually see this, I want to say thank you. This shop was at least partially responsible for a dorky, awkward kid finding his true passion in life and getting to have adventures that he never would have dreamed of without music.

From the bottom of my heart, a GIANT THANK YOU to the Guitar Showcase staff, past and present!

Thanks for reading!

Black/Gray/White

There is an awful lot of fuss about “hate” these days, as if you didn’t know. I don’t really understand it to be honest.

Personally I LOVE a lot of things, I dislike a lot of things. I’m indifferent to MOST things. But I HATE very little in the grand scheme of things.

If you listen to the “mainstream” you’d be led to believe that it’s an either/or world. Black or white. That is to say, if you don’t love then automatically you must HATE. I call bullshit on that one.

The truth of the matter, for me at least, is that unless we’re talking about something that directly affects me and mine I don’t really pay much attention or care about it. Sorry to disappoint.

I’m very much a live and let live kind of person. I’m weird and I know I’m weird, so I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. By the same token, I’m not going to agree with everyone or the mainstream in general. But that doesn’t mean I HATE the mainstream. I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion, even if I personally think their opinions are moronic. That doesn’t mean I hate them. Feel free to think I’m moronic. You won’t be the first or last in that regard. But you shouldn’t hate me for my opinions. Life is full of grey areas.

For example, I am a big admirer of art – painting for instance. I love the classics, Van Gough, et al and I love surrealism like Dali and Escher and even a lot of modern works. But if you paint a big square, monochromatic, on a canvas and try to pass it off as “Art”… well, not to me it isn’t. But that doesn’t mean I hate Art, or the artist of said monochromatic square. I just don’t like it or care about it. It’s not going to make me angry that it’s hanging in a gallery. I’m just going to ignore it and move on to what does interest me. Simple.

This is not to say you should accept or support ideas you don’t agree with. By the same ideal, you shouldn’t demand acceptance and support for all of yours either. A good idea can sell itself, you usually don’t need to force it upon others.

Reducing someone to one simple fact and then deciding to hate that person because of that one thing is beyond absurd. I’m sure there are exceptions to that, you know, for serial murderers, corrupt politicians, IRS agents, etc. but generally speaking most people are complex and don’t fit in to one little box.

For another example, you could say (vehemently) that I do in fact HATE the accordion. Its sound to my ears is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard, combined with a cat who’s tail has been stepped on. But that’s just me. I don’t hate accordion players for their terrible life choices, but I sure hate the sound of their instrument on a primal level. By extension, you could say I hate Tejano music, as it features the accordion prominently. But that by no means equates to hating Latino peoples. It means I most likely won’t attend an event that features Tejano music. That’s about it… I’m not going to go around demanding Tejano music be banned because I hate the accordion. I’m not going to scream “cultural appropriation!” <gasp!> because Tejano uses western European styles (polka, etc) as their base. I’m just going to move on to something I DO appreciate.

It feels like the media is trying to whip up this frenzy of hate, but if you look below the surface, most of it is hogwash.

Sure, there are certainly some idiots out there that will lay their blanket of hate over an entire group, whether it be racial, economic, religious, gender/orientation, whatever. In my opinion anyone like that is stunted at best and certainly not playing with a full deck. No matter what club/clique/organization/lifestyle you identify with, chances are there are some major differences between you and the rest of the people in your group. That’s life. That’s humanity. We all need to learn to not take ourselves so seriously, and more importantly not let the media lead you around by the nose, looking for a boogeyman behind every utterance and action.

I’d love to see everyone just calm down a bit. It’s OK, not everyone is going to like you or what you’re doing. It doesn’t mean they hate you. But trying to force your will on them, might make them turn that corner. And besides, hate is exhausting. It takes effort and dedication to TRULY hate someone. Talk about wasted energy! To quote someone I can’t recall: “Holding onto hate is like taking poison everyday, in hopes that someone else will die from it.” Wise words…

Another thing, and I say this as delicately as possible… Over-use of the word “hate” will eventually render it meaningless. Much like what happened with “racist” over the last few years. Now, because “racist” lost its power, it morphed into “white supremecy”, which has caused yet more friction, division and anger. But that’s a story for another day…

While I don’t believe for a nano-second that “words = violence”, words DO have power. Using them incorrectly diminishes that power and inflames people. Not a great habit to get into.

Just something to think about. Thanks for reading!

Happy Monday(s)!

Do what you’re doin’… Say what you’re sayin’…. Go where you’re goin’…. Think what you think… It sounds good to me!

Keepin’ it loose today!